Goals Update and Hitting the Reset Button

I hit the reset button this week on some things. I am somewhat of a driven person...always feeling the need to do a bit more or measure up to some unknown thing. 

Warning this is one of those long feelings posts... with no pictures. I love pictures too.

I have loved retirement this past year and a half, but yet felt like I needed to be doing more. I have had a hard time not feeling like I should be doing something more than staying home and enjoying just that....staying home. That driven part of me wrestles with not be a working woman, I guess you would say. (I know that is totally messed up:)

There has been no doubt at all in my mind when I think rationally -that retirement came at an extraordinarily right time for many reasons.

With all that said, I made my goals list for the new year in the back of my planner as always. There is nothing wrong with my list, but it didn't seem quite right this year. I couldn't really put my finger on it. I have been so busy with getting Mama settled (that is coming in a post later...I promise), that I accomplished very little on my goals list.

I absolutely love reading blogs. One of my favorite things about them is that it is often helpful to be able to read another's insights in life without sounding whiny to your friends:)  when you spill out all your thoughts verbally to them.

Lemon Lane Style wrote a post this month that really got my attention. It was after I had written down my goals for the year. She talked about how this year just felt different to her, like a continuation of last year.  Like when you turn a new age and it feels no different than the previous year.  She too is about two years into retirement as well. I was definitely relating to her analogy when ....

Patty from Lemon Lane Style wrote these two lines...

I think subconsciously I have given my permission to just be...

To be content with who I am, with what I have and with where I'm headed.

That really resonated with me. 

Then Arlene from Nanaland wrote one morning about a conversation she had with her mother over  a cross stitch project she was stitching. 

Arlene wrote this...

She confided in me that it was driving her crazy as it was stamped cross stitch and not the usual embroidery that she loves doing. I told her to put it up and get out something that made her happy.

Arlene went on to write about precious time really is. After all we have passed the age 50 mark.

That also really resonated with me.

Time is fleeting. I should be doing more of what I feel called to do for eternal purposes, but just simply enjoying life as well.

Then at church this month, we had a sermon series that was just a bit different than your usual feel good New Year's message. It was a four part series and the final piece was this past Sunday.

The final piece to my "not just settled mind"!

The first three weeks were all about not making the same old resolutions... get our of debt, loose weight, get healthy...blah blah blah. We all need to do those things was the point, but how about a 

not so me focused year? The question for the first two weeks was ----"What breaks your heart?" 

Well now, let me tell you I have a lot of things that break my heart. The plight of kids for one thing and the breakdown of the family, married couples in trouble just when you should be enjoying life together. I mean the list could go and on. 

But what to do about all of that is a whole different ballgame!

This week it was summed up for us in a powerful way that really got my wheels spinning.

Nehemiah Chapter 3 was the passage of Scripture. If you have read the first two chapters of Nehemiah, you know they are about getting permission to rebuild the wall in Jerusalem. They are a great narrative and very interesting to read. When you get to Chapter 3, it might be a bit more like Leviticus. Stop reading that book and move on :-)

I am flying through the message to give you the highlights or my take aways that changed my thinking.

Basically, as they are rebuilding the wall, each person did a portion that was "Right in Front" of him. 

I am guilty of looking for this great big falling star to pop right out of the sky and say..."Sandy, this is the great thing you need to be doing right now."

The question then became ---"What is right in front of you that you need to be working on."

I know I am popping right over how I got to this conclusion from the message, but trust me it was all there in the sermon.

I began to ponder Sunday afternoon and Monday...what is right in front of me..???

The answer was not so earth shattering, but very clear. Thank you, Holy Spirit!

My family... each one of them needs a portion of me right now. They need me to just be there, to not be so stressed from work or with so many projects that I don't have to time to stop and listen so very attentively.  Our round dinner table has had some great conversations lately. My kids are smart. One comes for lunch every day and the other for supper.

They need my devotion to prayer for them.

My dear Mama needs my patience and time. She is tweaking out a new existence at age 80. That really can't be too easy. She knows she is still of sound mind, but yet unable to handle the things she once did. She is also realizing that her body won't keep up like it once did. That is a tough pill to swallow.

The biggie was one I had really had not considered quite worthy of my time, but it has been revealed to me that is is quite worthy and will now be a priority, somehow.

For what reason I am not sure, but I have so many ladies reach out to me. Well, I do know to...God uses our struggles to make us stronger and teach us things and then He expects us to 

impart that wisdom to others.

Some are going through some tough things and others seeking an older lady to guide them through the struggles of being a mom in an overly busy world. I have had at least 5 ladies in this past month all seek to find time to spend with me.

I have to be honest with you. With several of these texts or phone calls, I found myself annoyed. I was like...don't y'all realize I am busy and don't have time for you?

I will always be busy, but the house doesn't have to be perfect, and I may not get to all those little projects as quickly as I want to, but I am feeling very strongly that I better get out there and find some time for these ladies who are seeking someone to talk to. The thing is ---I know I will ultimately be enriched by spending time with them also.

That is what is right in front of me for now!

I think I have finally settled into retirement with this year. It is now time to start building a wall of relationships this year.

Here is a picture to end this long post.

A duck convention in the bayou today.

Sandy