Muddling Through

 This is a post I don't really want to write, but I must. I am going to start out with some good and then I will share the hard. 

September is birthday month. Mine and Lindsay's are in the same month as are Jeff's and Paul Allen's. As we age and our family grows, we have started celebrating together. I told Lindsay I was just missing some fun time with the boys so we took off one Saturday morning early (to beat the heat) to go to the zoo. It had been ages since we had done that. In fact, Lindsay was pregnant with Palmer that last time we went. A new baby giraffe had born, but seriously it already looked grown by the time we were able to put this together. 

This is not the baby. He was on the left sort of standing back from the feeding.

Of course, we had to take the train ride. It was getting hot by this time, so you can see the red cheeks.

The big hit for Palmer were the cheetahs. He really didn't want to leave them. I don't know if he had recently seen something about them, but he loved them. 

There were 2 of them just laying down and flopping the tails.

I have not stitched very much this summer, but not because I don't want to.

I have stitched on a summery piece with shells and have enjoyed it when I can. I managed to get August's Christmas ornament for the Stitch-a-Long that I am trying to keep up with.

I have many things I would like to do, but my mind is not quite in the right place. 

Mom's house is on the market and that was a huge load off my mind. I have stuff in the front bedroom to deal with. I try to just close the door and not worry about it, but if I walk by it I feel it haunting me:) One of the biggest things are the large number of photo albums that need to be dealt with. I have already unloaded some to other relatives, but there are many to deal with. 

Mother has good and bad days. We did get the MRI and her taken to a pain doctor and an orthopedic doctor. She is not eligible for any cementing procedures. I know there is a name for that, but I just don't want to look it up. Her spine is too far gone with osteoporosis. She did get a new brace which is smaller and only fits the lower back since the fresh fractures were determined to only be in the lumbar region and from the fall. I hate that they were missed back in June. She could be on the road to recovery MAYBE. I really think she just has a good many issues at this point. She wants to be able to get up and enjoy the place we have her at and on a good day like the next picture shows it seems like that is possible, but the past 2 days have been plain awful. 

Lindsay took the boys by to see her after our zoo trip. They livened that room up quick.

Again, if you saw her today she would be in bed. We will be thankful for the good days and right now they are about 50/50.

I am still keeping Miles for now. He is growing like a weed and in to everything. Our biggest excursions are to see about Mama and to the grocery store.

On this day, we purchased some pumpkins.

On this day, we tried out the wheels.

Now, for the not so much fun to write part. 

I don't want to be a spokeswoman for hard times or be the one that writes a blog about aging or health for that matter, especially the part I am about to write. I guess time and my good Lord will show me what to do. I promise this week I plan to write a post that has nothing to do with Mama or any of my other problems....just a fun post of an old treasure. I need to capture some of those things for my children. It is coming.

I have known something was wrong with Jeff for a long time. Convincing him to listen to me was hard. I even self diagnosed the issue as far back as March if not before. I really wanted to be wrong. He finally shared it with our wellness doctor in Pensacola last spring and he wanted him to head to Mayo in Jacksonville, but of course Jeff put that off thinking it was just neuropathy. He finally called but then it takes a long time to get in and all I could do was pray that when he finally go there they would see what I see and run all the right tests. He was only going for neuropathy but I KNEW there was more. 

The doctor did see what I saw and scheduled him for 6 tests in the 2 days he was there. I haven't slept much since he left over a week ago. I prayed for those tests. I didn't want to be right but at the same time you can't know what you are fighting if you don't have a diagnosis. 

Jeff is in early stage Parkinson's. I really don't have the energy to write what I saw to know that. I hope in time I can write more, but for now I am in survival mode. Between Mama calling half of the days crying in pain and this I am just taking care of the moment. I have a great faith and I will get through it with the help of Jesus. I pray we stay in the early stages for a very long time. 

There are many decisions to be made. Lots more than you even realize. First up is retiring. I am pushing for June which means he would start leave in March. He will, but he is struggling too. Depending on the progression and the plans ahead there is much to think about. 

For now, pray for Mom's house to sell, her to be able to rest, and for a miracle first for Jeff and then if not that, a very slow progression.

Yes, life has thrown out a lot for almost 2 years now, but it has also provided so much good. We had a good friend's daughter to be baptized last night. Many prayers being answered there. 

When I have pulled myself together I will write more. I hope to put out a much lighter post later this week.