Monday, September 25, 2023

Muddling Through

 This is a post I don't really want to write, but I must. I am going to start out with some good and then I will share the hard. 

September is birthday month. Mine and Lindsay's are in the same month as are Jeff's and Paul Allen's. As we age and our family grows, we have started celebrating together. I told Lindsay I was just missing some fun time with the boys so we took off one Saturday morning early (to beat the heat) to go to the zoo. It had been ages since we had done that. In fact, Lindsay was pregnant with Palmer that last time we went. A new baby giraffe had born, but seriously it already looked grown by the time we were able to put this together. 

This is not the baby. He was on the left sort of standing back from the feeding.

Of course, we had to take the train ride. It was getting hot by this time, so you can see the red cheeks.

The big hit for Palmer were the cheetahs. He really didn't want to leave them. I don't know if he had recently seen something about them, but he loved them. 
There were 2 of them just laying down and flopping the tails.

I have not stitched very much this summer, but not because I don't want to.

I have stitched on a summery piece with shells and have enjoyed it when I can. I managed to get August's Christmas ornament for the Stitch-a-Long that I am trying to keep up with.

I have many things I would like to do, but my mind is not quite in the right place. 

Mom's house is on the market and that was a huge load off my mind. I have stuff in the front bedroom to deal with. I try to just close the door and not worry about it, but if I walk by it I feel it haunting me:) One of the biggest things are the large number of photo albums that need to be dealt with. I have already unloaded some to other relatives, but there are many to deal with. 

Mother has good and bad days. We did get the MRI and her taken to a pain doctor and an orthopedic doctor. She is not eligible for any cementing procedures. I know there is a name for that, but I just don't want to look it up. Her spine is too far gone with osteoporosis. She did get a new brace which is smaller and only fits the lower back since the fresh fractures were determined to only be in the lumbar region and from the fall. I hate that they were missed back in June. She could be on the road to recovery MAYBE. I really think she just has a good many issues at this point. She wants to be able to get up and enjoy the place we have her at and on a good day like the next picture shows it seems like that is possible, but the past 2 days have been plain awful. 

Lindsay took the boys by to see her after our zoo trip. They livened that room up quick.

Again, if you saw her today she would be in bed. We will be thankful for the good days and right now they are about 50/50.

I am still keeping Miles for now. He is growing like a weed and in to everything. Our biggest excursions are to see about Mama and to the grocery store.

On this day, we purchased some pumpkins.

On this day, we tried out the wheels.

Now, for the not so much fun to write part. 

I don't want to be a spokeswoman for hard times or be the one that writes a blog about aging or health for that matter, especially the part I am about to write. I guess time and my good Lord will show me what to do. I promise this week I plan to write a post that has nothing to do with Mama or any of my other problems....just a fun post of an old treasure. I need to capture some of those things for my children. It is coming.

I have known something was wrong with Jeff for a long time. Convincing him to listen to me was hard. I even self diagnosed the issue as far back as March if not before. I really wanted to be wrong. He finally shared it with our wellness doctor in Pensacola last spring and he wanted him to head to Mayo in Jacksonville, but of course Jeff put that off thinking it was just neuropathy. He finally called but then it takes a long time to get in and all I could do was pray that when he finally go there they would see what I see and run all the right tests. He was only going for neuropathy but I KNEW there was more. 

The doctor did see what I saw and scheduled him for 6 tests in the 2 days he was there. I haven't slept much since he left over a week ago. I prayed for those tests. I didn't want to be right but at the same time you can't know what you are fighting if you don't have a diagnosis. 

Jeff is in early stage Parkinson's. I really don't have the energy to write what I saw to know that. I hope in time I can write more, but for now I am in survival mode. Between Mama calling half of the days crying in pain and this I am just taking care of the moment. I have a great faith and I will get through it with the help of Jesus. I pray we stay in the early stages for a very long time. 

There are many decisions to be made. Lots more than you even realize. First up is retiring. I am pushing for June which means he would start leave in March. He will, but he is struggling too. Depending on the progression and the plans ahead there is much to think about. 

For now, pray for Mom's house to sell, her to be able to rest, and for a miracle first for Jeff and then if not that, a very slow progression.

Yes, life has thrown out a lot for almost 2 years now, but it has also provided so much good. We had a good friend's daughter to be baptized last night. Many prayers being answered there. 

When I have pulled myself together I will write more. I hope to put out a much lighter post later this week.


  1. I'm so sorry about this latest trouble. Yes, I hope for slow progression for Jeff, and better days for you all. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    1. Thanks Boyd. I hope you are feeling well these days too. I think often about others even if I don't have time to write more.

  2. Sandy, you certainly have had a lot to deal with. I'm sorry to hear about Jeff's diagnosis and hope it progresses slowly. Thankfully you have your grandkids to lighten things up right now. I know from experience how hard it is to take care of a sick mother. I pray for you and your family, you'll get through all of this. Take care and don't let yourself get run down. Becky

    1. Thanks Becky. I know so many people are either going through the caregiving stage or already been there. It is not easy, but we do what we can. I am blessed with such a wonderful family and appreciate all of those prayers.

  3. Thank you for letting us know the news, unwelcome as some of it is. (very unwelcome) I am praying as you asked. You know your praying blog readers will lift up all these problems to our Lord. May you feel the Lord's peace more with each passing day.

  4. I loved seeing the pictures of the boys and especially with your Mother. That is priceless. I am sure they brightened her day. And I am sure they brighten your days as well. Regarding your hubby Dad had parkinson's and lived to be 93. Thankfully they have much better medications for this now than they used to when my grandfather was diagnosed with it back in the late 60's. My Dad did so much better than he did. I am glad that you have gotten an early diagnosis, and I pray that he has some excellent doctors who know how to treat this correctly. I will definitely be praying for him and especially for you, as you are juggling so many plates right now. May God continue to give you strength and wisdom and peace of mind. God is with you and He will see you through each of these trials. Keep your eyes on Him...He will not let you down. Write when you can and please know that we are out here praying for you as you travel this road. (((hugs)))

  5. I am so sorry to hear about Jeff's diagnosis. And that you were observant and have worried since March - what a heavy burden you've born on top of everything else. I pray as you ask. For a miracle, and if not that, a very slow progression of symptoms. I do appreciate you sharing the hard stuff in the midst of all the beauty that is your life. Hugs to you and Jeff, friend.

  6. Prayers. It is fine to write about your mother and all. This is the time of your life when you care for her…spend every other minute with husband now…see family…but you may be doing too much in some areas. Prayers prayers…we are blessed to live long…we are blessed to live in a free country without wars…you are blessed…you are amazing…trust me…I have been in the valleys…whew…it is okay to experience grief…

    1. Thanks Brenda. Jeff is going to retire in December and I will keep Little Miles until June. I think I will be retiring from that as well. I will miss it terribly but Mom is swallowing up a lot of my time at the moment. It is the season and I do know I am so blessed. It is what keeps me going. All of those things you said.

  7. Oh my sweet friend. I am so sorry for these troubles with your mom and now your dear Jeff. I can tell you that I have a friend, Cindee, who has Parkinson's and she is doing well on medications. She is over six years in and is maintaining. A good doctor makes a big difference. Those boys are so precious. I will keep you all in my prayers. Please take care of yourself, too. Hugs!

  8. I enjoyed the pictures of the boys at the zoo, the grocery, and with your Mama. I am sorry about Jeff's diagnosis. I hope with early diagnosing and good doctors, the progression remains slow. My prayers today and for the coming days are for your Mama (less pain or at least tolerable for her and good days), for Jeff (slow progression of the Parkinson's and good days) and for you, dear Sandy (peace and strength to deal with everything that is on your plate). Oh, and praying for your Mama's house to sell quickly. Thinking of you.

  9. Oh Sandy, I am sorry to hear about the diagnosis for Jeff. I will definitely keep him in my prayers. I hope things go better with your mother and that her house sells soon. You sure have a lot to deal with and I wish I could give you a hug. Take care of yourself as best as you can. I know you are strong and trust in God but it takes a toll on you too. Sweet hugs, Diane

  10. My heart just sunk when I read about Jeff's health and diagnosis, Sandy. I'm so very sorry. You are dealing with so much right now that I wish there was some way I could help. I certainly will keep everyone in your family in my prayers--especially you, Jeff, and your sweet mother. My mother had terrible osteoporosis (along with scoliosis) and spent most of her latter years dealing with compression fracture after compression fracture. It's such a dreadful disease to have to battle and a lot of times the only thing that will help is time to heal the fractures and pain meds. We have all had so-called "hard years" and you seem to be in an extended one. Sending you a hug and keeping you in my prayers. Count your blessings on the faces of those three sweet grandsons... ♥

  11. Sandy: My Heart hurts for you and all you are going through, it is not easy being the caretaker of one person let alone two, I am sad and hope that Jeffs condition stables and he is able to go on, there are so many drugs and new ones coming for Parkinsons, I have you all on my daily Prayer list.
    The boys are so adorable and getting big.
    The dog ornament is adorable.
    Remember: God only gives us what we can handle, he is amazing and loves us all even is hard times.


  12. Praying for you and Jeff that God will direct your decisions and uphold you and your family during this difficult time. He is so good and He is ABLE!

  13. You are in my thoughts and prayers! God bless you and your family!


I am so glad you stopped by my little blog. Drop in again anytime.